He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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