this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
