You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
