That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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