That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was born a porn star she said
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
