i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
