He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
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Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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