i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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