We're like a lot better than the average bears
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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