By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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