I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
