so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
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Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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