dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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