cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
