drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
