My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
His nipple licking is glorious
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