is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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