I am in a vortex of obligation.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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