dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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