Pants 0. Shit 1.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize