i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
