Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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