yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
