I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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