Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize