I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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