I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Randomize
