whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
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