you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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