So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
