you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
