I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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