It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
thus making me awesome and them whores
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
