I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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