Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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