I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
