its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
