I'm eating all of the evidence.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
