The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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