So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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