Only a mothe r could love this liver
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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