Don't make out with my wife yet
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
