im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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