I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize