You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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