we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
