woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
where are my eyebrows?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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