I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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