dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
