I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
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At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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