Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
