the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
