True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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