Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
