My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
