I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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